Back to Work

Well, Day 1 of work after maternity leave is in the books. While it was nice to be out of the house for a while, I definitely missed my tribe. 

The day started out with my alarm going off at 6 am. Well, 5:45, 5:50, and then 6. I got out of bed, only to discover that Holden had slept through the night. That's great. Considering every night prior, he'd gotten up for one or both of his feeds. But Jose's first solo shift, he sleeps. Nice. I got around, got dressed, took my First Day of Work selfie (because I'm a fashion blogger now, it's what I do), and headed downstairs. I made myself a #bomblet and was out the door. 

Work was great! I got to catch up with all my co-workers, approximately 14,742 emails and, before I knew it, it was time to head home. I even got showered with gifts: flowers and the cutest baby clothes! PS Huge thanks to Lee who did such an amazing job holding down the fort while I was gone!

When I got home, I walked in the door to discover that Jose had cleaned up the kitchen and the living room and my jaw dropped. Now, most wives would be thrilled to walk in the door after work to this. While, somewhere deep down, I was happy a small portion of our house was finally somewhat liveable, I kinda sorta wanted to cry. For the past two months, I've been patting myself on the back that both kids have been alive and fed by the time Jose walked in the door. Today was the day Jose was supposed to finally see what I've been dealing with... what it was really like being the only one home during the day... being confined to a single chair with two, maaaybe three, 15-ish minute breaks during which I had to decide if I wanted to pee, make lunch, or brush my teeth. And this dude finds time to clean two of the messiest rooms in the house!?? Pssh, get outta here. 

Ok, well, of course I'm not really upset that Jose's first solo day went so well. It actually works out in my favor, because other stuff gets done. But. Fingers crossed this kid stays sleeping through the night for my next solo round!

And, of course, the highlight of my day was when I opened the door to hear Aurora say, "Oooh, mommy's home!" as she came running to give me a hug! And my two main men were hanging out, ready for kisses! Gosh I missed that baby's breath. Love my tribe! <3

Finding Jenna

I don't know what it is about having a baby that always ("always" as in both times) makes me rethink everything I'm doing in life. I think about my dreams and my future and the whole "Life is too short to do anything that doesn't make you happy" motto. It's like these tiny, little humans make me want to just go out and do all the things that will make them super proud to have me as their mom. It's inspiring in the weirdest way. Like, how can I tell them to always follow their dreams if I'm not doing the same? 

This same thing happened when I had Aurora. Once my maternity leave was over, I returned to my job in retail. I'd honestly loved my job up until this point. But all of a sudden, working 3+ weekends out of the month and most of my holidays just wasn't working out for me anymore. Turns out, I'm a huge family person and with them is where I always want to be. Whenever I'd think about whatever it was that I always dreamed about doing but never actually did, my mind always took me back to fashion school. It was one of those things that, as a 27 year-old mom, I'd kinda filed in my "Shoulda, coulda, woulda" file. Yet, I felt like I kept seeing signs here and there that were telling me to go for it. So, in the fall of 2011 (Aurora was 1), I started talking with an advisor and working on a scholarship project for FIDM. For the first time since college (okay high school, if we're being honest), I busted my ass on a project. Only this time it was different. This time, it was something I wanted to do vs just doing it because it was assigned. I think I actually skipped Easter with my family that year to get my project in by the deadline. But when my advisor called me that June and told me that I'd won a scholarship to the school, I felt like all my hard work had paid off and was totally worth it. Unfortunately, there were some other things that didn't line up at the time, and we ended up not being able to make the move... To L.A... I know!!! Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend the next few weeks in a minor depression (think Carrie Bradshaw when Big doesn't show up for the wedding state of mind), but then I went back to my analytical "What was the reasoning for all this happening, if it wasn't meant to be?" mentality and, while I didn't come up with much, I decided that it was, if nothing else, a confidence booster and a reminder of where my passion lies. This is something that has definitely stuck with me since then. 

Fast forward about a year. I quit my job in retail for a Monday through Friday 8-fiver. While the first job I took that got me out of working weekends and holidays turned out to be a total crapshoot and, literally, THE. WORST. JOB. EVER., I'm now so incredibly fortunate to be working where I do and with the most amazing bunch of people. My first day back from my maternity leave is this coming Wednesday, and I'm actually not dreading it. However, somewhere in between career changes, and becoming Jose's wife and Aurora and Holden's mama, I sort of feel like my passion has gotten a bit lost in the shuffle and, in some way, I've kind of lost a big part of who I am. Now, I'm certainly not complaining because, let me tell you what, being a wife and a mom are truly the best titles I've ever earned and definitely the best I ever will. And, the whole getting lost in the shuffle thing is 100% on me, because Jose is always on board with me taking time out for myself. It's just the whole mom guilt thing that prevents me from doing that very often, without feeling absolutely horrible for it afterwords. But. The older I get, the more I realize there's also something to be said about taking time for yourself that makes you even better at your wife and mama duties. 

So. Back to my whole "the baby made me do it" point I'm trying to make... I've been doing some thinking lately. About life and dreams and all that jazz and, once again, my mind has me back at fashion. Not, like, moving the family across the country to pursue it, but more like annoying my Facebook friends and anyone else who will listen and appreciate my somewhat self-indulgent outfit pictures kinda pursuing. And in more of a fun, little hobby type of way than a flipping our lives upside down kinda way. I remember when my friends used to ask me to go shopping with them to help them pick out outfits, or to come over before we would go out to help them get ready. I didn't realize how much I appreciated that until it stopped happening. 

So. Here I am (below) in my first official outfit selfie. (Not counting the however-many months of bump selfies because those were strictly 100% about the bump. Okay, maybe 96% about the bump.) And I have to tell you, I've already learned so much about myself. Like, how super awkward and uncomfortable I am when it comes to selfies. Like, what do I even do with the hand that's not holding my phone? And my legs. How do I stand so the focus is on the outfit and not on my thighs that scream out that I just ate a full container of Oreos?? Cookies! It's always cookies!

Back to the outfit. Right. So this is my current usual attire: t-shirt, jeans,... okay, these shoes might be a step up from my flip flops, but this is me. Trying to find my way back to Jenna from the block. Actually, it was more like Jenna from the cul-de-sac. A toned down version of the 20-something, fashion-obsessed Jenna, who's motto in life was "clothes before bros". Clothes before anything, really. 

Holden's Nursery

I fiiinally got the chance to take some decent pictures of Holden's room. The side of the house his room is on gets absolutely no natural light, so this little photoshoot took some planning. You may remember the post I did on my inspiration for this room. I really wanted an outdoorsy theme for our little guy (sweet Jesus, I am my father's daughter!), but nothing too cutesy. I wanted the room to be able to grow along with him. I have to say, I'm kinda, maybe, slightly obsessed with how it turned out! And I'm even more obsessed with the fact that my hubby worked his ass off to make my vision come to life and for making sure it was done by the time Holden was born. Seriously, he would come home from working all day or night and get straight to working on the room. Even though he's a total super dad and I knew he was perfectly capable of doing it, I was so impressed with his precision on every last detail... from making sure the stain was the exact shade that I wanted it to making sure the planks were lined up with the right mixture of dark to light so there weren't any heavy spots, he did not disappoint! (This also earned him plenty of other home projects!)

Jose made this hanging table, which Aurora thought was a swing at first and said she couldn't wait to push Holden on it when he gets a bit older.

You might remember those $90 mountain shelves I included in my nursery inspiration post. Jose made these mountain shelves himself! I can't remember the exact price, but they were definitely way cheaper!

Jose stained and nailed each plank to the wall and redid all the trim in the entire room himself. We eventually want to redo the trim in our entire house to this farmhouse trim, but baby steps!

We're still looking for the perfect spot for this amazing gem that was designed and gifted by my extremely talented friend, Kristin! Seriously, she is amazing. She has been since high school (Well, actually way before that!) and you can find more of her incredible work here. The Wednesday after we were admitted to Riley, Jose drove home to get some of our things and there was a Minted box on our kitchen counter. I asked Jose to open it, because I hadn't ordered anything from there and this was  what was inside. That first week was definitely one of the hardest, so this made my day in so many ways! <3

Anyways, that's Holden's room (that he has yet to sleep in)! His is the first room in our house to be complete and I'm so excited for Jose to start working on the rest of the house! :D

Holden's Follow Up Appointment at Riley

Today we made a trip back down to Riley for Holden's follow up appointments with the plastics and feeding teams. They couldn't believe how big he is! 14.2 lbs. to be exact! At just 2 months old!  First, the doctor that performed his jaw distraction came in. He said Holden looks great and that we're right on schedule to have his distractors taken out at the end of August. Next, the feeding team came in. We talked about making some adjustments to his feeds. And then we also talked about the possibility of him having a G-tube put in when they do his distractor removal. I've been trying to avoid him getting a G-tube, hoping that he wouldn't have to have even an NG-tube for very much longer, but nearly everyone I've talked to (doctors, other parents that have dealt with G-tubes, etc.) has said that a G-tube would be so much better for him and for us. It's possible he could be off of the NG-tube before his palate surgery at 12 months, but he'd probably start to pull the tube out as he got older. Also, after his palate surgery, he won't be able to have anything by mouth for 6 weeks. So really, the G-tube makes so much more sense for a number of reasons. He'll only have a small scar from it and it will get all the tubes off his face, which I can tell definitely irritate him. The doctors were so understanding about my reservations with the G-tube and talked me through each one. I swear, the doctors there put me more at ease every time we talk to them. He really does have, in my opinion, the very best people working with him. We left the hospital feeling really good about where he's at with everything!

On our way home from the hospital, we made a stop at the Fashion Mall for a late lunch at the Cheesecake Factory (so touristy, I know, but I love that place!) and a quick stop at Nordstrom since their #nsale is in full effect! There are several items that I've been impatiently waiting for to be back in stock, so I had to check and see if any of them were in the store. One of the shirts I've been tracking was, so I guess that's better than nothing, right? I'm going to try to do a later post on all my fav items from the sale, once they're all in.

That's all for now! Happy hump day! xo

Aurora's Birthday Fun

Like most 7 year olds, Aurora doesn't just have a birthday. She has a birthweek and a birthmonth. Really, the whole year is one big countdown to her big day, but once July rolls around, it's a daily (sometimes hourly) run through of her list of demands for the main event. 

Unfortunately, Jose had to work on her birthday this year. Of course she was showered with "Happy Birthday!" text messages and phone calls, she got to play with her bestie, and my grandma came over to hang out with Holden so I could play a few games with her. And we couldn't let the day pass without some cake so, on his way home from work Thursday night, Jose stopped and got a little cake and we sang to her and ate at 10:00 at night. :)

When I asked Aurora what she wanted to do for her birthday - a big party like she had last year, or a small sleepover with her cousins and a few friends - she was all about the sleepover! A Monster High sleepover, to be exact. Not going to lie, I cringed a little lot at the Monster High part. I'm not really a fan of character-themed parties, but this strong-willed little lady wasn't backing down. So I did something I've never done before. I took her to Party City and we picked up all the Monster High-themed crap we could find. I believe it was walking out of the store that day that I realized I'd better start accepting the fact that any control I ever had with this girl - over her birthday parties, over her outfits, over any of that - was quickly fading away and would soon be non-existent. 

Saturday was the big day. We had pizza and cupcakes, and the girls played outside for most of the evening, before coming in and settling into their sleeping bags for movies and popcorn. Pretty low-key, but I'd say it was a success!

Of course two of our island lights went out shortly before guests arrived and we had no extra bulbs!

Huge thanks to Jose's sis and our neighbor, Payton, and her friend for staying the night with us to keep the little chickies in line, while we took care of Holden! 

Aurora is 84 Months Old!

Kidding, she's 7. Aurora is 7. 

And what an incredible 7 years it's been! 

New swing set calls for a photoshoot.

Aurora, you have no clue how much you amaze your daddy and me on a daily basis. From the second you were born, our lives and the lives of those around us have been filled with an unfathomable amount of joy. You're smart and sassy (but also very sweet). You're loving and caring and you can't stand to see others in pain. You're so creative and could do arts and crafts for days. You love dancing and singing and making up little dances and cheers with your bestie. You're so independent, it scares me sometimes. You take such good care of your little bro - talking to him to calm him down when he cries, knowing if he needs to be changed (which, according to you, is all the time). You love to feed him and hold him and he seems so content in your arms. We are so very proud of the little lady you're becoming. We love you to infinity and beyond, my sunshine girl! 

Holden is Two Months Old!

Well, Buddy. You sure have been quite the adventure so far. Your daddy, sissy, and I love you so much more than we ever thought we could love another human. You're just the sweetest little boy in the world. You're most content while being held. You love baths. You could stare at the ceiling fan in the living room, or any light fixture for that matter, for hours. So many people have commented on how alert you already are. You also love to study peoples' faces, just like your sissy used to do. Your dad and I can't seem to agree on your eye color. He says they're blue. I say they're brown, just like his.

We've been home for a little over two weeks now. You cried a lot the first week and a half or so, just as you had been in the hospital. Maybe it was colic? The doctor prescribed you some medicine for reflux, and that seems to have calmed you down these past few nights. Now you can pretty much sleep through the night, aside from waking up to eat. You're a little over 12 lbs. now, you little chunker, you. We took you to mommy's work last Thursday and everyone just loved you. You also didn't cry at all the entire time you were there, so you have them fooled into thinking you're an angel. Daddy and I think it might be because you had your tube off for a those few hours, in between having it changed. You've gotten pretty used to co-sleeping, so we're trying to ween you off of that. We put you down in your bassinet last night, after each feeding. You did pretty well, sleeping for about an hour and a half to two hours each time. We'll try again tonight, hoping you sleep a little longer between meals, and then your crib will be the next step. Your sissy didn't sleep in her crib until she was nine months old. What can I say? We just love to cuddle with our babies.

We go back down to Riley next week and then you get your little distractors taken out at the end of August. I'm just so amazed at how much you've been through in your short, little life so far. Measuring the time in terms of feedings and appointments, it seems like it's just flown by. But I'm trying to just soak it all in. Even these tough times, because I know it won't be like this for long.

We love you, Holdy Man!