Holden | 11 Months

11 Months! How did we even get here!?? How on earth is my baby boy going to be a year old next month!? I honestly cannot put into words how much I love him. I remember when we only had Aurora and I just couldn't imagine loving another baby like I loved her. And then Holden joined the party and I can't even picture our family without him. Weighing in at 21 lbs (and currently wearing 18 months clothes!), Holden's a pretty happy baby! He definitely has his fussy moments, but he's usually happy. His smile and laugh are so infectious and he reminds me so much of Aurora at his age. Which is funny, because my pregnancy/his birth/almost everything else so far has been so opposite from her, but personality-wise, he is definitely his sister's brother. He loves people, but lately prefers to be held only by someone he's familiar with. He loves to crawl around and explore and would do it all day if he could. Full disclosure: when I'm alone with him for a whole day, he wears me out! But gosh I love him so much! He still gets around on his own by crawling, but loves to hold your hands and walk around. He loves watching his sister do pretty much anything. And we pretty much love her for watching him sometimes while we get things done. Otherwise nothing would ever get done. He's currently going through this "I like my dad more than my mom" phase that I'm not really a fan of, but hoping he sees his way out of that soon.

His third (and hopefully final!) surgery is next Thursday. I have such mixed emotions about this one. Obviously, I'm excited to get it done and out of the way. From what I've heard, the recovery can be pretty rough. I think I'm most nervous about handing him over to the doctors, just since he's more aware this time than what he was at a couple months old. Like, I envision him screaming as they take him away from us and that horrifies me. And also, I hate the thought of not being able to explain to him why his mouth hurts and that it will only be temporary, etc. But. I know it's all for the better. And, I just keep thinking about August. And how, if palate repair recovery goes smooth, then he could be g-tube free! So many of you have prayed for Holden before, and several of you have even said you've been praying for him since. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the very bottom of my heart. If you could continue to pray for his surgery and his recovery, that would just mean the world to this mama. I feel like I get so emotional whenever I do Holden's updates and it's just because I'm so amazed at where this journey has taken us and where it's brought us and, even though I'm not the most social person, I just love everyone that's seen us through this journey so much. I'm practically crying now, so I better stop. It should also be noted that I'm on my period, so that could also be a factor. Sorry not sorry if that's TMI . Okay byyyyye!