a fashion & lifestyle blog

Pages

Holden's Distractor Removal and G-tube Surgery - Part 1


Well, little guy, you're back in surgery as I type. It's such a weird feeling, sitting here in the family lounge. Waiting so impatiently for someone to come out and say everything went great and you're doing great and that we can go back and see you. The last time I saw you after surgery, when you had your distractors put in, you were intubated for a few days afterwards and I couldn't hold you. Now, it seems like this two hours is going to take forever, but knowing I'll get to scoop you up almost right away makes it all seem okay. Gosh we love you little man! 




Your Grandma MaryAnn made sure we knew she was watching over you today, too! Apparently 7 years from today was when she and I became Facebook friends (Facebook might be an ancient form of social media by the time you read this!), so Facebook let me know it was our Friendiversary. It stung a little at first seeing that, since she passed away in March, but then I realized it was a sign. Love when things like that happen! 

Alright, Buddy. Mommy's waiting for you... <3


Here's the last picture of you with your NG-tube! Hoping this G-tube makes a world of a difference for you, Bud.





Holden is 3 Months Old!


I am three months old today! I weigh 15 pounds and am 24 and a half inches long. I LOVE bath time and being without my tube for a few hours a week! I love when daddy takes me on walks down the street and his tickles make me laugh so hard! I also enjoy pulling Mommy's hair, and when she carries me around in my Solly wrap. I have the best big sissy ever! She loves to pick me up and carry me around the living room. I'm most content when being held. Right now, I make cooing noises that sometimes sound like I'm saying "Hi!" And I've just started sleeping through the night. I think I'm going to keep it that way, because it makes mommy and daddy very happy. :) 


My doctor says my PRS hasn't held me back from anything! Here I am holding my head up during tummy time!

In two weeks, I get my distractors out and my G-tube put in, meaning no more tape on my face or tube down my throat. Prayers for my surgery are greatly appreciated!

Love, Holden


Back to Work


Well, Day 1 of work after maternity leave is in the books. While it was nice to be out of the house for a while, I definitely missed my tribe. 

The day started out with my alarm going off at 6 am. Well, 5:45, 5:50, and then 6. I got out of bed, only to discover that Holden had slept through the night. That's great. Considering every night prior, he'd gotten up for one or both of his feeds. But Jose's first solo shift, he sleeps. Nice. I got around, got dressed, took my First Day of Work selfie (because I'm a fashion blogger now, it's what I do), and headed downstairs. I made myself a #bomblet and was out the door. 

Work was great! I got to catch up with all my co-workers, approximately 14,742 emails and, before I knew it, it was time to head home. I even got showered with gifts: flowers and the cutest baby clothes! PS Huge thanks to Lee who did such an amazing job holding down the fort while I was gone!

When I got home, I walked in the door to discover that Jose had cleaned up the kitchen and the living room and my jaw dropped. Now, most wives would be thrilled to walk in the door after work to this. While, somewhere deep down, I was happy a small portion of our house was finally somewhat liveable, I kinda sorta wanted to cry. For the past two months, I've been patting myself on the back that both kids have been alive and fed by the time Jose walked in the door. Today was the day Jose was supposed to finally see what I've been dealing with... what it was really like being the only one home during the day... being confined to a single chair with two, maaaybe three, 15-ish minute breaks during which I had to decide if I wanted to pee, make lunch, or brush my teeth. And this dude finds time to clean two of the messiest rooms in the house!?? Pssh, get outta here. 


Ok, well, of course I'm not really upset that Jose's first solo day went so well. It actually works out in my favor, because other stuff gets done. But. Fingers crossed this kid stays sleeping through the night for my next solo round!

And, of course, the highlight of my day was when I opened the door to hear Aurora say, "Oooh, mommy's home!" as she came running to give me a hug! And my two main men were hanging out, ready for kisses! Gosh I missed that baby's breath. Love my tribe! <3

Finding Jenna

I don't know what it is about having a baby that always ("always" as in both times) makes me rethink everything I'm doing in life. I think about my dreams and my future and the whole "Life is too short to do anything that doesn't make you happy" motto. It's like these tiny, little humans make me want to just go out and do all the things that will make them super proud to have me as their mom. It's inspiring in the weirdest way. Like, how can I tell them to always follow their dreams if I'm not doing the same? 

This same thing happened when I had Aurora. Once my maternity leave was over, I returned to my job in retail. I'd honestly loved my job up until this point. But all of a sudden, working 3+ weekends out of the month and most of my holidays just wasn't working out for me anymore. Turns out, I'm a huge family person and with them is where I always want to be. Whenever I'd think about whatever it was that I always dreamed about doing but never actually did, my mind always took me back to fashion school. It was one of those things that, as a 27 year-old mom, I'd kinda filed in my "Shoulda, coulda, woulda" file. Yet, I felt like I kept seeing signs here and there that were telling me to go for it. So, in the fall of 2011 (Aurora was 1), I started talking with an advisor and working on a scholarship project for FIDM. For the first time since college (okay high school, if we're being honest), I busted my ass on a project. Only this time it was different. This time, it was something I wanted to do vs just doing it because it was assigned. I think I actually skipped Easter with my family that year to get my project in by the deadline. But when my advisor called me that June and told me that I'd won a scholarship to the school, I felt like all my hard work had paid off and was totally worth it. Unfortunately, there were some other things that didn't line up at the time, and we ended up not being able to make the move... To L.A... I know!!! Now, I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend the next few weeks in a minor depression (think Carrie Bradshaw when Big doesn't show up for the wedding state of mind), but then I went back to my analytical "What was the reasoning for all this happening, if it wasn't meant to be?" mentality and, while I didn't come up with much, I decided that it was, if nothing else, a confidence booster and a reminder of where my passion lies. This is something that has definitely stuck with me since then. 

Fast forward about a year. I quit my job in retail for a Monday through Friday 8-fiver. While the first job I took that got me out of working weekends and holidays turned out to be a total crapshoot and, literally, THE. WORST. JOB. EVER., I'm now so incredibly fortunate to be working where I do and with the most amazing bunch of people. My first day back from my maternity leave is this coming Wednesday, and I'm actually not dreading it. However, somewhere in between career changes, and becoming Jose's wife and Aurora and Holden's mama, I sort of feel like my passion has gotten a bit lost in the shuffle and, in some way, I've kind of lost a big part of who I am. Now, I'm certainly not complaining because, let me tell you what, being a wife and a mom are truly the best titles I've ever earned and definitely the best I ever will. And, the whole getting lost in the shuffle thing is 100% on me, because Jose is always on board with me taking time out for myself. It's just the whole mom guilt thing that prevents me from doing that very often, without feeling absolutely horrible for it afterwords. But. The older I get, the more I realize there's also something to be said about taking time for yourself that makes you even better at your wife and mama duties. 

So. Back to my whole "the baby made me do it" point I'm trying to make... I've been doing some thinking lately. About life and dreams and all that jazz and, once again, my mind has me back at fashion. Not, like, moving the family across the country to pursue it, but more like annoying my Facebook friends and anyone else who will listen and appreciate my somewhat self-indulgent outfit pictures kinda pursuing. And in more of a fun, little hobby type of way than a flipping our lives upside down kinda way. I remember when my friends used to ask me to go shopping with them to help them pick out outfits, or to come over before we would go out to help them get ready. I didn't realize how much I appreciated that until it stopped happening. 

So. Here I am (below) in my first official outfit selfie. (Not counting the however-many months of bump selfies because those were strictly 100% about the bump. Okay, maybe 96% about the bump.) And I have to tell you, I've already learned so much about myself. Like, how super awkward and uncomfortable I am when it comes to selfies. Like, what do I even do with the hand that's not holding my phone? And my legs. How do I stand so the focus is on the outfit and not on my thighs that scream out that I just ate a full container of Oreos?? Cookies! It's always cookies!

Back to the outfit. Right. So this is my current usual attire: t-shirt, jeans,... okay, these shoes might be a step up from my flip flops, but this is me. Trying to find my way back to Jenna from the block. Actually, it was more like Jenna from the cul-de-sac. A toned down version of the 20-something, fashion-obsessed Jenna, who's motto in life was "clothes before bros". Clothes before anything, really. 



Holden's Nursery

I fiiinally got the chance to take some decent pictures of Holden's room. The side of the house his room is on gets absolutely no natural light, so this little photoshoot took some planning. You may remember the post I did on my inspiration for this room. I really wanted an outdoorsy theme for our little guy (sweet Jesus, I am my father's daughter!), but nothing too cutesy. I wanted the room to be able to grow along with him. I have to say, I'm kinda, maybe, slightly obsessed with how it turned out! And I'm even more obsessed with the fact that my hubby worked his ass off to make my vision come to life and for making sure it was done by the time Holden was born. Seriously, he would come home from working all day or night and get straight to working on the room. Even though he's a total super dad and I knew he was perfectly capable of doing it, I was so impressed with his precision on every last detail... from making sure the stain was the exact shade that I wanted it to making sure the planks were lined up with the right mixture of dark to light so there weren't any heavy spots, he did not disappoint! (This also earned him plenty of other home projects!)
Jose made this hanging table, which Aurora thought was a swing at first and said she couldn't wait to push Holden on it when he gets a bit older.
You might remember those $90 mountain shelves I included in my nursery inspiration post. Jose made these mountain shelves himself! I can't remember the exact price, but they were definitely way cheaper!
Jose stained and nailed each plank to the wall and redid all the trim in the entire room himself. We eventually want to redo the trim in our entire house to this farmhouse trim, but baby steps!
We're still looking for the perfect spot for this amazing gem that was designed and gifted by my extremely talented friend, Kristin! Seriously, she is amazing. She has been since high school (Well, actually way before that!) and you can find more of her incredible work here. The Wednesday after we were admitted to Riley, Jose drove home to get some of our things and there was a Minted box on our kitchen counter. I asked Jose to open it, because I hadn't ordered anything from there and this was  what was inside. That first week was definitely one of the hardest, so this made my day in so many ways! <3

Anyways, that's Holden's room (that he has yet to sleep in)! His is the first room in our house to be complete and I'm so excited for Jose to start working on the rest of the house! :D